Some days being a parent is so hard. Ok, all days are hard, but some days are exhausting physically and mentally. I have to admit that over the weekend I was having one of those days. So, normally a hard day consists of me being short on temper with the kids and in return the kids react in similar ways by crying and general fussiness.
This time was a little different, the kids were great. They were enjoying their life, having a blast playing and being tiny humans. The problem was solely with me. Sometimes I can get in the mood and I only want to do exactly what I want to do. Um, children do not operate that way by doing what we want them to do. They want to do what they want to do! And what they want is often at odds with what I want. Sound familiar?
In the spring I listened to a podcast episode on the Kindled podcast called “The Victory in the Ordinary.” It is one of my favorite episodes and I recently re-listened to it. Tabitha used a phrase “the kingdom of mom” in reference to being aggravated that the children would dare do anything to mess up her day. That’s how I felt on Friday and Saturday. And then all Saturday evening I couldn’t get that phrase out of my head. Then in Sunday school, we were discussing our daily readings and there was a verse from Matthew that totally clicked!
No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.
I’ve always viewed this verse in regards to the love of money versus the love of God. But it holds so much more meaning than a literal meaning of the word mammon (material wealth or possessions) and I think that is what is so beautiful about the Word of God. I cannot be the mother God has called me to be if I focus solely on myself and my wants. I have been called to raise these tiny humans and I cannot raise them by ignoring them and focusing on myself. And praise God for new mercies every day! Because I really needed it although I didn’t deserve it.
I know I fail at this parenting thing a good bit and I’m just thankful for the grace that God shows me through my toddlers and their love that keeps showing up.